Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Woman on trial for poison mushroom killings says she was trying to fix "bland" meal - CBS News

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Is it appropriate for parents to discipline their child in public if the child is being rude, disrespectful, and unruly towards them? Why or why not?

The sadness was still there.

And the sadness?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why did Obito, a supposed "bad person," do good things for Kakashi?

It’s here now, writing to you.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Measles 'exposure event' confirmed in Great Falls - KRTV

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

CD Projekt Red clarifies Unreal showcase of Witcher 4 was tech demo, not gameplay - GamesIndustry.biz

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I had run out of hope.

Gene mutation found in the bacterium behind the Black Death helped plague conquer the world, scientists say - CNN

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What legal actions can be taken if a neighbor's unleashed dog causes harm or injury?

Be who you already are.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Treasury yields slide as ADP payrolls fall to lowest in more than two years - CNBC

You are like me, then.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

5 Drinks to Help You Debloat, According to Dietitians - EatingWell

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.